Did this one for fun, tell me whacha think.
Being a mer of portly size
The kwama egg is my demise
But should my sword begin to rise
It would soon be your end,
Though I?ve yet to prove myself
And show you my immortal health
And my sword still sits on the shelf
My patience is my friend.
They often say ?oh there he goes
To battle his unworthy foes!?
And then bend laughing to their toes
When I would saunter by,
Shield in hand and sword in place
A smile of daring on my face
As I walk with a haunting grace
To purchase my Nord rye.
Though I did not fight today
I know that they will surely say
?He killed another god this day!?
When I prove them my worth,
Soon I will have enough gold
Once I get my pack gaur sold
To buy the armor that will hold
My ample-weighted girth.
But for now this mer will sit
Forget about the foes he?ll hit
And write with his unusual wit
Another egg he?ll eat,
I?ll swing my sword some other time
For now I think that I shall rhyme
But I will battle gods divine
Just let me rest my feet.
hahaha... this brought me some laughter.... it's very good :goodjob:
perhaps there can be a portly Hlaalu writer who makes a decent income from books and writing for the illiterate of his town... and he dreams of being a warrior like those in his ancestry, and those in his books
hrug:
...and the poor guy approaches you while you at Silgrad and says he will sell you the store and guar for he is going to Vvardenfell to do battle.... of course you find that he hastily returns on account of dislike for hiking long ditances
This seems to be an exact opposite of your previous poem - it is quite funny, and very stylistically awkward - as if written by an entirely different person - an amateur poet and the style is very ancient norse...so you might think about changing the nature of the content to fit the style perhaps of a norse imperial?
There is something very strange about the scansion and the way it rhymes, but I cannot for the life of me pin it down, and that it feels authentic - I have read translations direct from ancient Icelandic and Scandinavian documents and their poetry is really terrible, unless you are totally drunk on mead which is a powerful spirit.
You could leave it as it is or work on it a bit further, but be careful not to lose the 'feel.'
If you keep up the input we will have to consider a 'Collection of .... Poems,' as a book! And so long as you are enjoying writing them you should write more whenever your Muse takes you there...
Quote:Originally posted by raggidman
so you might think about changing the nature of the content to fit the style perhaps of a norse imperial?
I'd like to, but
1. I much prefer the image of a fat dark elf in his 'exquisite' clothes walking around thinking he's god of war.
2. I wouldn't know how to change the style to one that is appropriate. I know very little about poetry and the style of rhyming that you see with this and my other poem are my favorite (and easiest for me to do)
I'll let it all mull around in the ol' noggin.
It also could be intriguing to find that the author is a Dunmer obsessed with Nordic ideals, dressing in chain mail, drinking mead, trying to grow a beard (which fails horribly because it's in Oblivion and because he's a Dunmer). It'd be kind of a special, fun character, and this could be written on a scrap of paper in his dressor or on the bar near where he regularly sits.
Maybe this confused dunmer always wears norse armour, and has decorated his appartment in the norse style because he actually believes he is the reincarnation of one of the ancient invaders...?
But his belief in his soul's origins would have to be reflected in the poem.
And do not worry about changing the poem to make it 'more norse.' It already has the authentic feel. Just look to see if references to Dunmer culture can be changed to references to Skyrim, for example in the first line:
'I seem a mer of portly size'
If it does not work that way keep it as it is.
Rhineville, your poetry is wonderful! Like any literature poetry should play to the emotions. Critics be damned! I have seen poetry that was nothing but punctuation marks be proclaimed in the New York Times and the best poetry of the decade. (Very very sad but true)
Too many forget that poetry is the language of the soul, and beneath the skin and finery of all with a warrior heart, the language remains the same.
Raggid: I believe you've read the Havemal among other ancient texts! lol You are right, much of the ancient Nordic (and Celtic) poetry and song would be seen today as bad examples of no talent. However these works were not meant to entertain. Unlike poetry and song of today, in ancient times the bards (whatever name they went by) were the repositors of history and by their very words could influence history itself. We have television, videos, etc, while the ancient cultures depended on wandering bards to spread knowledge of ancient cultures and great deeds done by faraway heroes. Were these stories embellished? Of course they were! Yet within each one lies a grain of truth and that is where the lessons lie.
Postscript: I am trying to figure out how to merge to some degree the teachings of the Havemal and the lore of the Celtic Triads. They are so similar yet different in their approach. I want to try and combine some parts of the two to create a totally new teaching song for our Skyrim people.
Actually, Galrina, the Havemal may be a new one to me - I came accross a set of writings ('pologies, my notes were stolen long ago) about the doings of Norse peoples on an island - and much of the content was innumerable lists of tiny events, movement of fence posts, number of chickens, etc. The stories tended as you say to mimic this style.
Actually I believe that this approach to record keeping is likely the basis for the famous Doomsday Book that listed the contents of England for the Normans...
Rhineville, on the question of the fat dark elf posing/believing himself a nord warrior - I hope you understood that I like the concept - just trying to think how to put it into effect if he is to be an NPC...
Very good! This or some form of it should definitely find its way into the mod, though I think smaller text like this would be better suited for pamphlets or scrawlings that you could find on someone's desk, nightstand, or in a tomb rather than a bookstore.