 Poems, perhaps? |
Lloyd DeVirr
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Ave! I am Lloyd DeVirr, and new to Skyrim for Oblivion.
I saw one of your threads on the official Elder Scrolls forums, and
thought that i'd better do my best to aid. But as I can't mod, nor draw
or at all, I thougth that I could write.
I've written a sort of poem one day, and I have it laying around
somewhere. But could you be interestet in an Nostra Damus inspired
Ayleid poem? Not that I've written any excat details about the games
and their quests, but cryptically and with errors (Such as Nostra Damus
wrote about a "Hister", and many have interpret that as Hitler). If you
think you could use such a poem or two, I'd start to find the poem,
write it on the Computer and write a few more.
Whatya say?
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18.12.2006 16:29 |
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Siesta Guru
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WElcome to skyrim Lloyd DeVirr! 
I think that would be great, but I'm not a lore expert..
Do note that there are no ayleid thingys in skyrim
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ou av andanyammis 
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18.12.2006 17:19 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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I know, but there are pretty much always books in a place, about things
that does not exist in that area. And I also thought of it more as of a
collection of poems, an imperial or elven have collectet and
translatet, rather than random scripts here and there. Ofcause, that is
MY ideas.
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18.12.2006 17:51 |
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Siesta Guru
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Is there noone else saying welcome to this poor fella 
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19.12.2006 20:40 |
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Psychotic
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Ah sorry, I somehow missed this post. 
Welcome to Skyrim for Oblivion Lloyd DeVirr! 
I personally would love to read some of your poems. 
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19.12.2006 23:18 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Ok, i'll try and come up with one more, so there's more to judge from.
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20.12.2006 22:31 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Ok, i've come up with three.
Note, that the first one is about the Daedra being tossed out of
Tamriel, and then to return, with the Oblivion protagonist throwing
them back agian; the other is about Atmora being emptied, but by plauge
and not ice, and the last is derived from the Angelic-Saxon epic poem
"Beowulf", about Grendel empting the Danish hall.
Though there is a Publishers Note, they can allways be broken down into three seperate poems/rhymes if needed.
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[Publishers Note: These rhymes where written by an Altmer, Andaril
Melrildori by name, scholar of modern day Summerset Isle. Born in
Alinor, he was fascinated by Ayleid texts at the age of 10, and have
tried to write this, as if an Ayleid wrote them. He disappeared in 3E
430, presumably killed in a ruin outside of Rimmen, Valenwood, which he
was investigating for Ayleid artifacts. To improve the vision of an
Ayleid rhyme, Andaril Melrildori named the verses by authentic Ayleid
words.]
-Sunnabe Welkynd-
As they walked through the shadows
A Demon came to them
And said ?Near is thy End!?
They shiver?d with Fear
As the Demon stalk?d Near
Shadow on the Brow
?Your End is ?ere Now?
But from a star, so shinin?
And Angel came a-flyin?
With Aid to the Men
The Demon, He Roar?d
And swung His Great Sword
But the Angel, with a gaze!
Summon?d His Mace
And brought the Demon down
And captur?d him in his Crown
But the Demon could not be Kept
And away He Leapt
So the Demon and Angel, they Fought
During the Ages
Their Battle still Wages
For the Demon has a thirst
He didn?t have first
But a Hero, a Hero came
And proved to be Sanoran?s Bane
The Hero, Good or Bad
Saved Men and Mer
When he last was her?
The Demon was Stopped
The Angel had Won
And the Demon was banished a-gain
To his Hellish Lane
The Heir was away
What to do?
They had no clue
The fate of the Land
In the Hand
Of a Mercenary
-Mathmeldi-
Through the Night
A Terrible Might
Snuck it?s Way
Through the Hay
The Beast was Wicked
It?s Tail terribly Nicked
It?s nose so rotten
Soft as cotton
The Disease
Not in Peace
It was the Plauge
Not any Vague.
The Farmers slept
Their Souls withkept
By their bodily Shell
A living Hell
The cattle Died
The Gods had Lied
The Disease spelled Doom
Death was in Bloom
The Souls had flown
Their Fate?s sown
In the Carpet
They where the Target
No one still Stood
Only poisonous Food
The city Abandon?d
By choice of Random
Yet the settlers lives on
Full and Strong
In another Land
Run by a ragged Band
[The rest of this Poem was lost in the sand of time. It supposedly
describes the fate of the land of Atmora, and the ?other land? is,
supposedly, Skyrim.]
-Baune Pellanil-
Out of the Shadows, the beast came
A mere glance on it, would make you lame
It attacked the Skaal, with uncanny rage
It?s bloodline running back though the age
To before our Fall
In the Skall?s Mighty hall
The beast kept on attacking
The warriors fell with a smacking
It couldn?t be killed by mortal a Hand
Not from any of the Land
But as it looked very Dark
As if they all where to go to the Park
The Hero came
Full of fame
He fought the beast with his Hands
Yet none of the Land
Had dared such fight
Through one of the Hellish ?night
The Beast lost an arm
The blood flowed, very warm
The Beast, it Fled
And wound up Dead
But the mother was mad with hate?d
It?s hunger not yet sate?d
It attacked them a-gain
It?s Zealotry in Vain
The mother was Killed
And the Hair used for a Quilt
The Skaal was saved
Yet their Pride had been shaved.
EDIT
The three titels are Ayleid words, from the UESP Ayleid alphabet.
Sunnabe Welkynd means Blessed be Sky Child (The angel)
Mathmeldi means From home driven, or Exiled, In this case, From home driven.
Baune Pellani meens Mighty Outsider, due to the Nords not being able to harm it.
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This post has been edited 4 time(s), it was last edited by Lloyd DeVirr: 07.01.2007 19:32.
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22.12.2006 18:38 |
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Alasdair
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Brilliant! The one about the Nord's going from Atmora to Skyrim because
of Plague is interesting, I'm sure that there will be a crazy Altmer
researcher who is investigating whether or not that is true, it might
make a good quest. The third could be traditional Skaal poetry, and
would be great in Solstheiim. The first would be an ideal addition to
any mages collection. 
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23.12.2006 00:31 |
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Psychotic
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23.12.2006 06:30 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Well, I could try and make one from a Skaal view. Then perhaps, the
third could be a Snow Elf, one to undermine the Skaal's power, and one
from Skaal, where it is changed to the Snow Elves being attacked by the
monster, thereby also undermining the Elves strength.
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23.12.2006 13:44 |
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Psychotic
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Lloyd DeVirr
Well, I could try and make one from a Skaal view. Then perhaps, the
third could be a Snow Elf, one to undermine the Skaal's power, and one
from Skaal, where it is changed to the Snow Elves being attacked by the
monster, thereby also undermining the Elves strength. |
There were no Snow Elves on Solstheim, but the attack could perhaps be happening in another small Skyrim settlement. 
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23.12.2006 13:52 |
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Psychotic
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Richard
Also, about the "publisher's note", firstly a poem translated from one
language to another will never rhyme like that. Secondly (I think) it's
pretty lore breaking; as far as I know not that much was known about
the Ayleids, certainly not to the extent of having knowlege of their
obscure poets. |
You make a good point. I don't even think that enough is know about the
Ayleids language to enable someone to translate something as complex as
a poem.
If we take an example from real world cultures then the traditional/epic Nordic poetry should sound quite differently.
Maybe they can be by a High Elf author who has a thing for Ayleid culture and in order gives his poems Ayleid names?
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24.12.2006 11:00 |
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Greybeard
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Very nice work, Lloyd! But I agree with the comments above. The lore guys around here will certainly have some concerns.
Part of the problem with the language isn't your problem; it's Beth's.
It doesn't seem that they had a linguist on staff who could make
distinct language structures between the races. Consider the huge
difference between the Germanic and the Romance languages: word length
and combinations, sentence structure, use of prefixes and suffixes,
etc. Or if you're REALLY into poetry, look at the Psalms (preferably in
Hebrew) and you'll find an almost unique way of thinking. They packed
more meaning into a couple of words than English does in whole
paragraphs. Greek, on the other hand, had a very precise, but musical
style. (Yeah, I had to memorize part of the "Anabasis" and recite it
with the proper musical accents 
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See if you can pick a race (not Aelids because we don't know enough about their language), and develop a "style" for it.
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24.12.2006 17:45 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Sure thing, i'll start after the Christmass "fuss" has gone about.
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24.12.2006 18:05 |
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Actually it would be posible to translate most of what you have written
into Ayleid (I am quite the expert on the language, and will be
releasing a book at TIL soon on it), some words wouldn't need
translation like "Skaal", but most of this is translatible. Also with
the release of KOTN it came with a very much extended vocabulary of the
Ayleid language, like finding out the "Sel" means hall (Of which I had
suspected before the release from my research).
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24.12.2006 20:26 |
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Siesta Guru
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You researched the ayleid language?? 
I'm already of languages like french... but ayleid
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24.12.2006 20:30 |
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Siesta Guru
You researched the ayleid language??
I'm already of languages like french... but ayleid
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There is a thread in the common room about it, you might have to go
back a few pages, but it's there. From then I have made a lot more
progress, and when I get access to KOTN I will continue my work (So far
all I have had to work from KOTN is what is on UESP (Sp) and TIL). Most
of my work was done on sentance structure, but I also did some work on
compound words and some other stuff (Translations, etc).
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24.12.2006 20:35 |
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Siesta Guru
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Ah well good job on it then
so you're skilled enough to create some easy ayleid sentences? for example: I want pie???
Id like to have the ayleid translation of that as a sig 
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24.12.2006 20:39 |
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Siesta Guru
Ah well good job on it then
so you're skilled enough to create some easy ayleid sentences? for example: I want pie???
Id like to have the ayleid translation of that as a sig
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I could probably get you close as "I Want/need/have food/something edible" But I couldn't get a word for Pie.
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24.12.2006 20:49 |
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Siesta Guru
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Too bad =( 'I want sleep' then??
Id be very gratefull
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24.12.2006 20:52 |
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Ja-Kha'jay
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Thats great! And welcome to the Skyrim Lit Dev. Look forawrd to more great works!
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http://s207.photobucket.com/albums/bb249/JaKhajay/
What is the Lycanthrope, in the Eye of God? A cursed Beast? Or a Miracle?
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24.12.2006 21:16 |
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IAMTHEEMPEROR
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Where do you people learn to speak ayleid? That is a skill I've long since strived for!
I could probably translate it with the runes left by Umaril's servants in KotN, but I can't speak it...
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25.12.2006 01:42 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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I have changed the publsihers note, in case they're going to be put in
the same book (if they're to be used). I'll make a style for it in some
time, again when the fuss gone about
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25.12.2006 19:46 |
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Psychotic
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The new publisher note seems very fitting.
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26.12.2006 08:59 |
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Richard
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It's better, but honestly I think you should just forget the whole
Ayleid thing. I know it's good to have a backstory and so on, but it
just seems cheesy/cliched to me.
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26.12.2006 11:06 |
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Psychotic
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Richard
It's better, but honestly I think you should just forget the whole
Ayleid thing. I know it's good to have a backstory and so on, but it
just seems cheesy/cliched to me. |
Well since the poems are not really Ayleid now, but an imitation that
the Altmer dude pulled off they can sound a bit cheesy with their
Ayleid titles. The Altmer scholar might think he did a good job of
imitating Ayleid poetry, but he also might be wrong. 
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26.12.2006 11:39 |
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Richard
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Yeah that sounds pretty good I guess. However, if that's the case then
I don't think they should have been published into book form (unless
someone's intentionally published a book of the works of failed poets
and Ayleid imitators or something of course)
OR you could still just leave the Ayleid thing out of it and just have them as the works of a current or past playwright.
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27.12.2006 06:48 |
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Greybeard
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Or maybe a compilation of short works gathered to pay homage to the Ayieids?
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27.12.2006 13:24 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Well, origninally they were meant as a collection; a fan of the Ayledi
writer (Now Altmer), who gathered them all in a book. I wrote a
foreword, but I don't know where I placed it right now.
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27.12.2006 14:57 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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I've made another one, which is my suggestion for the nordic-themed poem, as if actually created by a nordic.
It's supposed as a story, that a parent could tell a child, whom had been caught out at night, or just as a precausion.
Sorry it took me so long time, but hey.. i'm a dope head, my nose stopped with weed or somethin'.
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In the Days of Yore
Emerged the Son of a Demonic noble seamstress
It was rotten with hatred to Man
Especially to our Skaalish Clan
Why, you might ask?
Well, once it were our task
To slay the Demon noble seamstress
In the Days of Yore
Child, the Beast was mad with Hatred
As it had Schemed and Waited
With the Demon noble seamstress
Since the Days of Yore
But finally it could shatter its Chains
And reuse its ancient Veins
It attacked our clan in the Night
Our Bonfires gleaming in its Sight
The Fight was short and Bloody
Our armor seemed Shoddy
When the Light emerged in the East
Fifteen lay dead afore the Beast
It kept on coming, stealing our Kids
Soon we lacked youthful Wit
But in its dark, dark Lair
The Kids are strangled in its Hair
And it lives with the Demon noble seamstress
From the days of Yore
So carefull my child, do not wander the Night
Or the Beast might catch you with its Might
With that said, no go to Bed
Or it will come and Sever your Head
While you sleep
And your soul it will keep.
_________________________________
EDIT
As I can see I can't use the word originally intended, i'll find a
substitute with the same meaning, at least to a certain, wide spread
extend. Pardon.
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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Lloyd DeVirr: 07.01.2007 19:40.
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07.01.2007 19:38 |
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Richard
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I don't have a degree in English or anything like that, but this is how I'd have written it:
"In the Days of Yore
Emerged the Son of a Demon seamstress
And rotten He was with Hatred of Man
With anger ripe t'ward our clan
And why was this I hear you ask?
Well, once fall upon us did the task
To slay this Demon noble seamstress
In the Days of Yore
But child, the Beast was mad with Hatred!
For many a year he Schemed and Waited
With the Demon noble seamstress
Since the Days of Yore
'til finally He could could shatter His Chains
Once more flowed fire through His Veins!
He rose and came one fateful Night
The childfolk whetting His appetite
The Battle short, the hands were bloodied
Yet still the Beast ensnared His quarry
For the Demon noble seamstress
From the Days of Yore
And when morninglight shone in the East
Dead fifteen lay before the Beast
Each night again He stole in Fours
'til nureseries echoed song no more
And deep withing His brooding Lair
He binds the Children in Her hair
Now lie they do with Beast and Seamstress
From the days of Yore
So beware my child, do not wander the Night
For He may take you without fight!
And with that said, be off to Bed
For He yet hungers for your head
So go to sleep, and do not creep
Then safe your little soull will keep
Or join them may you, the Beast and Seamstress
From the days of Yore"
Just my thoughts
This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Richard: 09.01.2007 07:58.
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08.01.2007 03:55 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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That is some really good thoughts you got there, they sound much more, well, as child-scaring folk lore.
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08.01.2007 15:38 |
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Alasdair
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I like both versions of the poem, maybe there could be two different versions or something?
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08.01.2007 17:18 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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Perhaps as a official, published version, and one written on a note as a reminder for a ole pa' or something?
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08.01.2007 17:39 |
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Richard
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hmmm...to be honest (and don't take this as saying "I speak English as
a first language so I'm right you're wrong", beacause I'm not meaning
that at all) your version just has a few too many errors and things
that don't quite work
Perhaps everyone could chip in, but give Lloyd the credit for it?
Afterall it's still his poem, and certainly a better tale than anything
I could come up with on my own
, its's just got a few niggly little things in it that's all 
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09.01.2007 08:02 |
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Lloyd DeVirr
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"Never more of the Dark time
The Dark thoughts of Uncertainty
Fleeing across the Lake
Mountains and valleys
The ancient, deep jungles
I can never return to childhood
Mothers soft sugar
The neverending desert of green with the warming Sun
The soft and warm wind
The first true Love
The eternal Seas
I can never return
to the summer of my
Childhood"
I've thought of this as a Khajiit of the southern Elsweyr, who has fled
to Skyrim, and writen a poem to express his sorrow over having to leave
Elsweyr.
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30.01.2007 00:03 |
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Psychotic
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I like it!
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30.01.2007 00:33 |
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