 Feedback for the Noob... |
Rivotech
Journeyman
Registration Date: 09.07.2006
Posts: 9
Location: California, USA
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Hello there. I need some feedback on a quest that I had written. I need
feedback on just about everthing if possible, mainly the 'structure'
that I use to write my stories... Much thanks ! 
EDIT: This is a quest originally made for a Rangers Guild...It has 3
Main Quests and 8 Sidequests...I also have sidequests that lead to
other seperate quests I plan on writing...I also wish to join a Team
and get started on some writing !
EDIT: Below is a sample of the Quest. It has 5 more pages to it...
The Quest
**This Quest begins after the Ranger receives his Sword of the
Elvenkind, after His acceptance into the Rangers Guild (another
possible Quest?). The Sword is also known as Item(I-4), and you will
see this kind of structure throughout the story. See each corresponding
letter/number for more details on that ?subject?. Hopefully I have not
missed anything, if so, drop me a PM. The Quest starts out when the
Ranger goes Home(L-1) and sleeps after a long day at the ceremonies for
his acceptance into the Guild. Sleepy, the Ranger falls asleep
(Sword(I-4) is now removed from inventory), dreaming of his new
Sword(I-4) and dreaming of great battles and how he has made a
difference. A loud noise suddenly wakes him up, only to find?. MQ-1)
The Ranger is awoken to a loud noise, jumping to his feet he finds some
Skeletons(G-3) thrashing the House(L-1). Two skeletons rush the Ranger
with swords drawn. What does the Ranger do? Naturally, the Ranger (or
the player) wields a new weapon to defend himself. By this time though,
the third skeleton has escaped with his new Sword(I-4)! The Ranger
easily defeats the two skeletons and promptly searches them for clues.
After searching them, the Ranger has found a unique looking Pirate
Token(I-2). This is the only clue the Ranger finds, but hopefully the
Ranger will figure out that pirates usually are found around docks. The
Ranger searches all the docks in the area and finally goes to the
Waterfront in the Imperial City, Once at the Waterfront, the Ranger has
to ask around for some more clues. Only two NPCs speak of this topic
(using stock Bethsoft NPCs, just adding some more rumors responses to
them), and answer with D-1, D-2, D-6, D-7, response D-2 leading to the
Tavern(L-3). So the Ranger heads for the Tavern(L-3) and finds it full
of pirates (some don?t speak, but will state D-4. Only one pirate has
the next clue). Deciding to look for more clues, the Ranger questions
as many as he can (if the pirates do attack, a simple yield
(spacebar/RMB) will instantly calm the pirates). The Ranger finally
comes across one who will speak. This Pirate(N-23) will state D-12,
D-14 when asked about the Token(I-2). When the Ranger finally receives
response D-14, he learns that the Docks(L-18) are the next place to
search (leaving Ranger again to think ?which docks??). After figuring
out it was ?these? Docks(L-18), the Rangers looks for clues. After
coming across Pirate Jim(N-2) or Pirate Fred(N-3) (see notes for more
details on Jim/Fred), the Ranger asks him about the Token(I-2). (this
starts SQ-1. Uses the RAI system and is dependent on how well the
player ?RAI? N-2/N-3 and how much gold is used to bribe them. Only one
is found at a time.). See SQ-1 for the rest and results. So after the
Ranger has successfully gained the correct information (Pirate
Home(L-2)) or stealing Map(I-3) from Fred, he travels to the Pirates
Home(L-2). As the Ranger arrives, he is met by several Pirates(G-4)
that are defending the entrance to the Home(L-2). The Ranger easily
defeats the Pirates(G-4) and promptly searches them for clues, finding
nothing. What about that House(L-2) they were guarding? Now the Ranger
enters the house only to find nothing or nobody (although Fred(N-3) is
here at a 3% chance and only during the daytime). Again, the Ranger has
no new clues and decides to search the home better? Wait! What is this!
A trap door that leads down to a Basement(L-8). Hastily, the Ranger
heads down below. Once below, the Ranger is greeted by more
Pirates(G-4). After clearing out the Basement(L-8), the Ranger finds
the room he was looking for! (in a room that?s at a dead end, has only
one entrance/exit). In this room, the Ranger encounters Pirate
Reynold(N-1) and Fred(N-3) (Fred is here 97% of the time, during the
daytime only, and/or if he was not encountered in previous
Location(L-2), and they both attack instantly, stating D-4. After
defeating both, the Ranger can now go and grab his Sword(I-4). This
room also holds two chests, one chest holding Items(I-6), and the other
has minor treasure (minor potions, clothes, a scroll?). The Ranger sees
a strange Note(I-9) laying on a desk and promptly grabs it. It seems
that, after reading Note(I-9), his Sword(I-4) is a ?fake? Sword(it now
becomes Sword I-4a) and that someone else has just been given the
Sword(I-4). Maybe they have the real Sword(I-4)? The Note(I-9) also
shows the Location(L-6) of who might have the ?real? Sword(I-4). Sad
and disappointed, the Ranger works his way back to the surface so he
can go to the new Location(L-6). **This ends Part One of the quest.
This pause will allow the player to get healing, rest or whatever.
During resting, if the player chooses to do so, there is a 17% chance
that Skeletons(G-5) attack the Ranger. There is also a 30% chance that
the Ranger will encounter a group of Skeletons(G-5) when traveling to
location L-6 (if fast travel is not used. L-6 is marked on players map
though.) The start of Part Two(MQ-2) begins upon arrival at location
L-6? MQ-2) Using the Note(I-9), the Ranger heads to his next
Location(L-6). Upon arrival of the Location(L-6), the Ranger is met by
more Undead(G-6). After defeating them, the Rangers spots a hidden
Cave(L-7). So the Ranger decides to enter the Cave(L-7) with caution
knowing what he has faced up to this point. After the Ranger battles
his way through the first four levels, Ranger comes to a room (this
room should be at a dead-end with no other entrance/exit) and finds a
Zombie Hero(N-24) lurking about. After defeating the Zombie(N-24), the
Ranger searches the body for clues and has found a Key(I-27). But what
does this Key(I-27) open? A further search reveals a very well hidden
Secret Door(L-10). Using the Key(I-27), the Ranger can now proceed to
location L-9. This large Single Room(L-9) is very dark and has sounds
of undead lurking about. Suddenly, the Ranger is attacked by a group of
Skeletons(G-6). After a tough battle and victory, the Lich King(N-5)
appears from a cloud of mist. Before the Ranger can attack, Lich
King(N-5) states D-29 and summons Vampire(N-6). The Lich King(N-5) will
not fight this fight, yet, but instead he will aid Vampire(N-6) by
casting spells against the Ranger (such as drain willpower). After the
Ranger defeats Vampire(N-6), the Lich King(N-5) now attacks Ranger
directly using his main Weapon(I-28) and casting destruction spells.
The Lich King(N-5) disappears suddenly (when his health is below 5%,
any time during this battle. He escapes no matter what (is still marked
essential at this point)), stating D-17 before he leaves (in a cloud of
mist). Well, what does the Ranger do now? Once again a search proves to
be worthy as he spots 3 Chests(I-10/I-11/I-12). After a further search,
the Ranger will find a badly torn Note(I-13) in a waste Basket(I-29).
After reading the Note(I-13), the Ranger still has no viable clues as
the Note(I-13) is badly torn, but it shows a General Area(L-12) were
the Ranger can begin his next search. The Note(I-13) also has something
about a New Metal(I-5) that can be found in a Cave(L-21) to the far
south (leading to SQ-8). **This again allows the player a break
in action. If they decide to rest, the now is a 25% chance he is
attacked by Skeletons(G-5). There is also a 30% chance he is
encountered by Skeletons(G-5) when walking to location L-12. (if player
does not use fast travel, unless someone knows how to ?break? the fast
travel process with random encounters. This might actually be a whole
new mod in itself, Fast Travel Encounters? Do I hear someone hard at
work on this?) At this point, the Ranger has just a handful of clues.
He knows that his next Location(L-12) is barely visible on the
Note(I-13) and decides to head there. When the Ranger comes within
100ft of actual Location(L-12a), A group of Skeletons(G-1) appear (from
behind a large rock or something) and attack the Ranger with force!
What does the Ranger do? Using a large Rock(I-30) to stand on, the
Ranger might find an advantage point by using his bow to defend himself
(player does not have to use rock. If they are ?true? Rangers, they
?might? look for something like this.) So the Ranger defeats all 10
skeletons and hastily searches them for clues and goods. After
searching their Leader(N-8), the Ranger has found a new Sword(I-15)! He
also finds on the Leader(N-8), a strange Key(I-14) and a beautiful
Golden Necklace(I-16) that has a readable name on it (belongs to
Shirley(N-20) and eventually leads to SQ-3). Once the Ranger
finds the Trap Door(L-12a), he uses the Key(I-14) to gain entrance to
the Secret Area(L-13)( See the full description of location L-13 on how
this part of the dungeon should be.) So the Ranger works his way down
deeper into the dungeon until he reaches level three were he meets some
Skeletons(G-7). After a long battle with the Skeletons(G-7), the Ranger
searches them for clues and goods. The Skeleton Hero(N-25) holds a
Key(I-34) and Sword(I-33). So what is this Key(I-34) for? After a
thorough search, the Ranger finds a Locked Door(L-13a). Unlocking the
Door(L-13a), the Ranger heads to Level Four(L-13b). Once there, the
Ranger hears moans of a small child. Were is that coming from? The
Ranger can see on the other side of the room two Cloaked
Figures(N-5/N-12) that seem to be in a ?heated? conversation. Also
nearby is a Large Ogre(N-13). Luckily, they have not noticed the Ranger
yet. The room has many crates filling it and the Ranger might want to
sneak up closer and listen to the conversation. So the Ranger moves
closer and hears the Cloaked Figures(N-5/N-13) stating D-20 and D-21.
Damn! They have now noticed the Ranger! The Ogre(N-13) charges first
and the Cloaked Figures(N-5/N-12) stay back and cast spells at the
Ranger. (the object here is to kill N-5 and N-13. Evil Elf(N-12) always
escapes. He is marked essential still.) The Ranger once again comes
through with a defeat and promptly turns his attention to the moaning
and cries. Spotting a small cage in a corner, he heads there to find a
Small Child(N-10) and Mother(N-11). The Mother(N-11) will state D-18
and then dies. The Small Child now states D-19 (leading to SQ-4. See SQ-4
for more details) Searching the room, the Ranger finds a Note(I-18) in
a desk. The Ranger also searches the bodies and finds a new Sword(I-28)
on the Lich King(N-5). After reading the Note(I-18), our Ranger learns
of a new Location(L-14) to begin yet another search. Hastily, the
Ranger heads for the surface with the Small Child(N-10). (there is a
20% chance skeletons have respawned in levels 1-3). **The Ranger can
now return the Child(N-10) and gain some rest and stock up on whatever
they need. There is a 10% chance that the Ranger will be encountered by
Skeletons and Pirates(G-17). If the Ranger still has the Child(N-10)
when they attack, the Child(N-10) flees causing the Ranger to search
for him. The Child(N-10) can die and needs to be protected by the
Ranger at all cost. After a safe return home and the reward from
Renee(N-10), the Ranger heads for his next Location(L-14)? Upon
arriving at location L-14, the Ranger spots a Pirate Ship(I-19) being
?loaded up? with crates and other goods. He also spots a few
Slaves(G-9) in chains and shackles and they are brought on board the
ship. What does the Ranger do? The Note(I-18) clearly states this is
the spot to be. The Ranger can clearly see at least 7 Pirates(G-14) and
their Captain(N-14). Once again, the Ranger has no choice but to attack
and search for more clues (there is a 20% chance that the Pirate
Crew(G-14) spots the Ranger when he approaches within x amount of feet
of the ship, at which point the Crew(G-14) will leave the ship to
attack first). As the battle ensues, Pirate Captain(N-14) heads under
deck. Once defeating the Crew(G-14), the Ranger can go onboard. After
searching the ship, the Ranger finds the Slaves(G-9) being held and
they ask to be released, stating D-30. (There is a 10% chance that one
states D-31, which leads to SQ-11). Either before or after
releasing the Slaves(G-9), the Ranger must fight the Pirate
Captain(N-14) and defeat him. So now the Ranger has defeated the
pirates and freed more slaves, but there is still no sign of his
Sword(I-4). Searching further, he finds a Key(I-38a) hidden behind a
crate, which opens the door to the Captain?s Quarters(L-23). Once
inside, the Ranger searches and finds a Note(I-21), which points to the
location of a ?final? Drop Spot(L-15) and the possible whereabouts of
his Sword(I-4). The Ranger also has found a Note(I-38) in a desk that
is the ?Title? to his new Ship(I-19). (At this point, the player now
has complete control over the Ship(I-19) but has no crew? for now J).
The Ship(I-19) is sail-able and can be sold if chosen or made into a
new home) **Once the player has the Ship(I-19), they can either sail
directly to location L-15 or do whatever, like get healing, more goods,
do other quests, etc. If the player choices not to directly sail to the
new Location(L-15), then the Ranger will be encountered by
Skeletons(G-10) or Pirates(G-11) during his travels on foot. The next
part of the story is the ending of Part Two and the player has had a
chance to obtain the Skinning Knife(I-39) in SQ-7. Hopefully,
the player went and got the Knife(I-39) as the ending of Part Two is a
battle with a small Dragon(N-17), meaning that if the Knife(I-39) is
used to ?skin? the Dragon(N-17), then the player will receive
DragonScales(I-40) that will be apart of a new quest and a separate
mod. Also, as the Ranger sails to location L-15, he is encountered by
another Pirate Ship(I-41) and its Crew(G-13). The Pirates(G-13) board
the Ranger?s Ship(I-19) and attempt to kill him. When the Ranger has
defeated these Pirates(G-13), he now owns this Ship(I-41) as well. So,
with all that said and done, lets move on to the story? Once again, our
Hero arrives at the next Location(L-15). When the Ranger pulls up to
the dock, he is met by another group of Pirates(G-15). After easily
defeating the Pirates(G-15), the Evil Elf(N-12) suddenly appears (from
behind a large rock or tree, cannot and will not be ?seen? by Ranger
UNTILL Pirates(G-15) are defeated) and it appears he has your
Sword(I-4).The Evil Elf(N-12) hastily attacks the Ranger (stating
D-38). Fighting with all his might, the Ranger is getting close to
defeating hid foe. Suddenly, the Evil Elf(N-12) steps back and states
D-39 (he will do this when his health has reached 15% and has no
potions left). What is this? Wait! Not a Dragon(N-17)!!! Without a
second thought, the Dragon(N-17) attacks the Ranger with all it has
(and then Evil Elf(N-12) once again disappears). After defeating the
Dragon(N-17), the Ranger searches the Dragon(N-17) for clues and finds
nothing except its teeth, which can be sold or used (see above notes**
for the OTHER option the player has at this point using the Skinning
Knife(I-39). So what now? Where do I go? Why does that Elf(N-12) always
disappear? Left with no clues, the Ranger is left pondering his next
move?End of Part Two(MQ-2). **I had not realized that there are no
Dragons in the game?yet. I guess for now it can just be replaced with
any custom made monster of any type. For instance, it could. be a
really large ogre and it is his ?skin? that replaces the DragonScales
**The player at this point has no clues on where to go next. This
forces the player to ?think?: Were do elves live? Was that elf a
mountain elf? Was he a wood elf? Hopefully our players will figure it
out and realize this elf lives in a forest, The Great Forest(L-16) and
heads there to search it (the player has to figure this out on their
own. There is no map marker to this location). After the Ranger arrives
Here(L-16), he still has to find the Evil Elves(N-12) Home(L-17). So
now the Ranger sees something? Is that a Tree House(L-17)? This has to
be the place!!! This starts Part Three(MQ-3) Approaching the
Home(L-17), the Ranger is met by a group of Slaves(G-16), an Ogre(N-13)
and the Evil Elf(N-12) who states D-40. At this point of the quest, the
Ranger has several options as follows: he can kill ALL that attack
(G-16/N-12/N-13) or kill the Ogre(N-13) and Evil Elf(N-12) while saving
no less then 6 of the Slaves(G-16) from be killed by the Evil Elf(N-12)
as he will kill them also as he tries to kill the Ranger. I guess they
shouldn?t stand in the way! LOL If the Rangers saves enough
Slaves(G-16), they will state D-22 (which leads to SQ-5). Can
it be? Has the Ranger finally stopped the madness? Searching the body
of Evil Elf(N-12) proves the Ranger right! His Sword(I-14) is now safe
and back in his hand. After a further search of the Evil Elf(N-12)
house, the Ranger finds one last Chest(I-23). The Home(L-17) now
belongs to the Ranger and has a few nice touches. If the Ranger has not
completed any sidequest(s), he can now do so. Well, that?s it, End of
Story. J
__________________
When in doubt, play Oblivion !
This post has been edited 5 time(s), it was last edited by Rivotech: 17.07.2006 01:59.
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15.07.2006 03:24 |
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TheImperialDragon
Councilor
Registration Date: 21.06.2006
Posts: 6,208
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| RE: Feedback for the Noob... |
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Haven't downloaded it yet. What is it about?
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15.07.2006 03:25 |
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Razorwing
Administrator
Registration Date: 24.03.2004
Posts: 10,039
Location: Sweden
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At first I was going to move it to "General ES Modding" but then I
searched your profile and understood the context behind it. The
underused "Quest Development"
board is solely for Silgrad Tower quests, while some other Dev boards
are shared between some of the projects here. It would just get
confusing to bungle all the quest ideas and development into one forum
board, so that's why it's separate.
I moved your thread to Skyrim's quest board instead; I hope no one minds.
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15.07.2006 21:57 |
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Siegfried
Archduke
Registration Date: 07.03.2006
Posts: 2,598
Location: With Your Mom...
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You'd probably get more readers if you post the actual text in a
thread. I can't download it cause I'm not on my home computer, and the
owner of the comp I'm using now would eat me alive if I downloaded
anything on to it. |
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16.07.2006 21:30 |
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Feedback for the Noob...
Guess I had over-estimated the response. So how do peeps get involved
in writing quests? Please, if you need help writing some quests,
contact me ASAP! I'm getting bored and need something to do...