Poem About Norse Gods

[Braggi]

I wrote this back in 1994, pretty much all in one sitting. Although it's not TES related (and my apologies for being off topic), I think it does capture some of the spirit of the game - fun and serious, as well as having a pantheon to play with.

It is an example of what I can do when I get on a roll. I had a lot of fun writing this one...



The Ballad of Balder's Fall

Odin was forbodin',
As he sat upon his throdin,
Looking like a work of Rhodin,
As he remembered Mimir's Well.

All that upsetting knowledge,
Gained from no specific college,
No diploma on his wallage,
Just an eye that hurt like Hel.

Said he, to none specific,
"I'd be gratefully prolific,
Were my dreams not quite so cryptic,
'Bout the life of my sweet son."

"My thoughts are like a harrow,
And they chill me to the marrow;
He'll be slain by dweomered arrow,
And I find that most unfun."

As he ranted and invected,
Frigga heard, and she erected
Wards to keep their son protected
From any earthly harm.

A promise, she extracted,
From each creature she contacted;
Plant and animal contracted
Not to mar young Balder's charm.

But, in her haste unholy
To speak with high and lowly,
She disdained the Mistletoe-ly,
As the Norns spun on their loom.

For, Loki had espied her,
In his shape as a small spider,
And he sidled up beside her,
Thinking, "Mistletoe's his doom!"

Now Balder, he was virtuous,
Young and lithe and courteous,
With the girls, a little flirteous.
(They wrote odes about his toes.)

And when Frigga's spells were finished
All weapons' powers diminished,
And he smiled a bit and grinnished
To find no hurt in weapons' blows.

So, when the Gods were feeling restive,
Or moderately festive,
Even just a little jestive,
They'd throw spears at Balder's heart.

Each shaft's flight was deflected,
From its deadly course projected,
While they all looked on affected,
Save for Hodr, blind and dark.

Then Loki came a-creeping,
From the place where he'd been peeping,
To seize this chance for keeping,
Thus he spoke in Hodr's ear:
"My friend, I am exclaiming,
That you should join their gaming!
You shoot, I'll do the aiming,
and they'll notice you, don't fear!"

Hodr was delighted
To finally be invited,
So he drew while Loki sighted,
And the arrow it flew true.

The mistletoe struck Balder,
Who was felled like a young alder,
And with a scream heard to Hel's alter,
The Gods cried, "Hodr! It was you!"

At the screaming, Loki fled,
While Hodr sadly said,
"I never wanted Balder dead;
Loki's aim did slay the youth."

Balder coughed in some congestion,
Saying, "May I ask a question?
What's this arrow in my digestion?"
And with that, he died forsooth.

Balder's soul went down to Hella,
(She'd been waiting for this fella),
And into her warm cella,
Did she lead the beauteous boy.

She held him to her bosom,
Thinking, "Loki sure can choose 'em.
I'll be damned if I will lose him!
Until doomsday, he's my toy."

When the Gods set up a clamor,
Rousing Thor and his great hammer,
He could only stare and stammer,
"This Time Loki's gone too far!!"

"By Mjolner's smoking handle,
I'll snuff out Loki's candle!
Summon Tir and summon Heimdal!
We'll bring his head back in a jar!"

And so the three went searching,
Through the Nine Realms they went lurching,
'Til they found old Loki perching,
On the banks of some small stream.

Hoping to avoid their prying,
Loki changed and swam like flying,
But they netted him, a-crying,
And they lashed him to a beam.

They chained him under mountain,
To let a serpent's venom fountain,
Into his eyes, for years uncountin',
And, still, his torments rock the land.

For, when the ground is shaking,
When the hills and fields are quaking,
When the earth is rocked awakening,
Remember Loki's traitorous hands.

Thus must Balder be content,
To remain where he was sent,
And feel Loki's pained torment
Until Ragnarok comes on:

After Doomsday's mighty brawling,
When the eldest Gods are falling,
Then will Balder find his calling,
and lead the new Gods to their dawn.

[Arbiter]

Again I had to read it twice.

I like your excessive usage of commas. Poem's great, where else can you see words like unfun and ingestion

After Doomsday's mighty brawling,
When the eldest Gods are falling,
Then will Balder find his calling,
and lead the new Gods to their dawn.

Great part. :goodjob:

[Braggi]

The use of commas is from a very old-school english teacher when I was a kid. :eek:

As to the odd words, well, that was done to imitate the poet Ogden Nash, who was brilliant at putting words that had no relation to each other into a humorous rhyming scheme. His results were always quite funny.

Glad you liked it.