MK's account on the fall of Ald-ruhn

[Hector the Hooded]

Ok, here is my story, I'd appreciate feedback/comments.

This has not been spell checked yet, so don't comment on that!

Here we go
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The Fall of Ald-Ruhn
by Hector The Hooded

It was a simple day, a day very much like any other in Ald-Ruhn. Sure, Nerecarine had stopped Dagoth Ur and the Blight, but the Ash Storms never left.All of us in Redoran had seen the fury and horror of the Sixth House amd there mutated kin, however that was nothing compared to the horrors we would soon see.

Today was particulary clear for Ald-ruhn. I am or was a Guard (I haven't really decided yet) and I was talking to my Kinsmen, Dareyn Sarethi, he always said he was kin to Athyn Sarethi (Nobody Belived him). Suddenly, the skies turned Red like the fires of hell. Rock like structures (Which, we now know as Oblivion gates, according to the Ordinator in the Temple) rose from the ground, like a panther hides and pounces on its prey. As much as I hate to say it being Redoran, we were the prey, and we were drunk with hope, hope that the legion would be re-called to Cyrodill seeing as Uriel Septim had just died. We should have known that even the Assassination would disrupt the strength of the Cyrodillians, however I digress.

An arrow flew into the bossom of my friend, and it was an arrow like we had never seen, it was black and red and barbed, we shivered in fear at just the sight of it. Dareyn died when it struck him, it cracked his armor down to the groin. I drew my sword, in futility, as I knew I was going to die. The Daedra came from those portals like vultures pick the fleshs of a dead deer. My kinsmen died around me, they dropped like leaves in autumn. We defeated the first wave. The Daedra stopped briefly, we evacuated as many as we could, some of the councilors stayed, Nemina stayed. Then, to my suprise a group of Outlanders (who had settled in Ald-Ruhn a few years back) refused to leave. Four Orcs, three Imperials and Five Redguards. We tried to convince to leave, an Orc said to me "A Wrothgarian Orc never runs" , then the Imperial said "Neither does the might of the Imperial Legion", and finally the Redguard says "You've clearly never woken a Redguard on lovely Morndas Morning" and for all are peoples prejudices, these Outlanders fought with a fury and hatred I had never witnessed.

No More. The second gate opened, we tried to out fank them, they knew. We tried to shoot them from the Towers, they knew. These beast were clearly experts at what they did. No, thats not all, they...... enjoyed it. They loved it. Those monsters were bred for it. Filthy N'Wah's all of them!

It was here here I was sure my grave would be. My kinsmen grew tired, they lost hope, however those Outlanders never lost hope, saying Talos will save us. I laughed. Finally the Daedra broke are swiftly made barricade, and when all hope seemed lost, the tides turned. A spell of horrific power struck Five Daedra, reducing them to Ash, I had only one thought - those damnable wizards are here. It looks like Aryon had caught wind of these monsters and decided they would not have the privellige of killing the Noble Warriors of House Redoran. He would help us, rather than let us be slaughtered by this filth. Apparently are alligence and prayers to the Temple and Vivec had payed off, as with these Telvanni were Armigers and Ordinators, the fiercist guards of the temple. Amongst them were Hlaalu thieves, with new ebony daggers, and some Legions from Fort BuckMoth.

Amongst them was a face I knew well. He was on posters in the Streets, saying he was a "Saint". It was Sait Jiub. I said to hi, "Saint Jiub, you and this odd assorment of allies have come to our aid?" interuptiing my conversation, the Telvanni and the Hlaalu said at the same time "Silence, Stoopid." Jiub replied with a smile "Saint? No, I'm just a man who bought my freedom and killed some Cliffracers. Thats all.". So humble he was, Tamriel will miss him.

Out of Ald-Skar charged some Ashlander Shamans, along with some Redoran mages. The Telvanni charged to them, and they all started casting spells on Ald-Skar. How curious I thought to myself.

While they wasted time (So I belived at the time) casting spells, the rest of us took arms against the increasingly large number of beasts leaving thier gates and entering ours. We fought. We fought for what seemed like days, the Imperial shouted "Never in my years of the Legion, have I seen a foe so fierce" and I replied with "You've never fought a Kaguti in mating season have you?".

A Imperial then said to me, "Well, in all my years of the Legion, I've never fought with a Dunmer. Now I see while people fear your race, its not your face...or smell, its what comes after you mention it!" We shared a brief laugh. We fought on, then a large Gate, larger than Ald-Skar emrged, and we thought this was the end. Instead of a whole Daedric army emerging to greet us, we were meet with a Giant instead. A nord then shouted " I'll out drink 'em!" A Imperial then said to me "I have never fought with a group of people so diffrent from eachother, however I have never fought with a group so powerful.".

Then, this giant (Which, was I will swear to this day was at least a hundred feet tall) struck down the gates and the barricades. Then the mages unvielded thier trick. No normally, I'm against necromancy, however in this case I was a supporter. Ald-Skar rose from the ground, it then fought with the Giant. While we shot arrows, stabbed its feet, ankles, and toes and unleashed spells at it, Ald-Skar tore at it with its pinchers, blood fell like rain, flesh like snow. I thought to myself while this was happening, I miss the Ashstorms. Then Ald-Skar struck a death blow on the giant, in the chest. However, Ald-Skar soon died of blood loss, or perhaps it just slept, slept untill the next time the Houses, the Legion and the Outlanders rally together again for the same cause. Which, knowing us may be centuries from now.

Even as I write, Ald-Ruhn is being rebuilt. Then we will return to our petty squabbles with other Houses, insults to the Outlanders, and disdain and silence of the Legion presence.

This Redoran has learned that Kinship can exsist with those who you always belived could never co-exsist people with. I hope this book, this journal will convince other to do the same.

- Hector the Hooded

[KuKulzA]

I like it, but there's plenty of improvements to be made after first proofreading for grammatical and spelling mistakes :yes:

- if they fell so fast how did they keep the line so well?
- you need to improve some of the structuring (its tough, I have those issues as well)
- few came to Redoran's aid, only small groups, remember news doesn't travel that fast

remember, Ashlanders and Redoran, while their animosity may have softened, they wouldn't live with each other usually... having Ashlander shamans (same as a wise-woman except male) in Ald-Skar is absurd...
instead of calling 'Hlaalu thieves' you may consider saying something along the lines of 'Hlaalu, who came few in number, but those that did come were good skirmishers armed with ebony daggers' or something like that... I doubt a Redoran would look down upon Hlaalu ACTUALLY arriving on the scene to help out

thats all for now, I can't think of other suggestions

[Hector the Hooded]

Thanks, I though about several of those (they are fixed in version 2.0 ^_^) however you bring up a good point with how they kept the line well.

Edit: I like the structure as it is, its not perfect, but we need to that know that this man was NOT a writer, or a noble, or even a Gentleman, he was a Guardsmen for Redoran, thats was I was going for, however if you really think its needs to be changed as far as structure goes it will be my pleasure, Ashkhan.

My Master Sauron the Great sends his salutations.

[KuKulzA]

just a little tidying up in general...

I also dont mind account from different people and slightly differing stories
makes for interesting reads when the player discovers... one man's word is not necessarily all true...

[Mormacil]

Look at Vivec, even he proberlby lied in his books about the death of the Nerevarine and the Dwemer - Chimer war.

Btw remember that Ald-Ruhn has a mageguild, so a teleportation system. That way adi could be asked rather swift

[Hector the Hooded]

Good point.

Hey KuKulza, are you going to use this in the mod somewhere?

I also have books on -

Telvanni Architecture, A process

Hlaalu Trading, A Skill

Redoran Warfare, An Art

(these are just sort of related to the topic of Great houses I have more these are just the nicest)
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These are much cleaner with diffrent fonts.

[KuKulzA]

Mormacil: good point

Hector: yeah, just post them in the Lit. Dev section, preferrably with something to tell its for Vvardenfell so we know its official :yes:

[IAMTHEEMPEROR]

I have a better way for Ald Skar to die. Instead of a giant, which I'm pretty sure you are implying Dagon which was a one time thing, you should make it the Daedric seige crawler, the big, metal, bug-like cannon that moves. At it's center floating off the head is a sigil stone which powers it's movement and the cannon. It should go like this:

"The big, hulking metal monstrosity that emerged from the gate seemed slow. It had a huge metal frame supported by only a few metal legs. At first, by the size, we merely thought it carrying more Daedra inside. That was when we let our guard down. It's spinning mouth churned, faster and faster, glowing brighter by the second. Then, a deafening screech emmited from it, and the battlefield was illuminated red as a large pillar of fire and lightning blasted a tower. It seemed to just vanish instantly. The chaos slowed down around me, all was quiet, moving so slowly. It would appear the blast damaged time itself. Then it sped up, and I came to my senses and narrowly avoided an arrow.

The chaos continued endlessly on, and we soon feared another attack from that...that monstrosity. The earth churned, and I thought it would fire again, fearing it's next target. But, it continued walking. I scanned around amid the destruction. The ground around Ald-Skar cracked and was rent asunder, and it rose up from the ground, exposing two massive claws each the size of a building. I realized the Telvanni had just performed the greatest feat of necromancy Morrowind has ever seen.

Ald-Skar moved up on it's eight legs, edging closer to the giant cannon. Sensing a threat, the cannon prepared for fire. I shut my ears, and hid to watch. As the cannon was about to fire, Ald-Skar reached up and grabbed the stone, black as the abyss, floating in the center of the head. Then, the stone crushed in it's claw, while simultaneously blasting the claw to dust. Ald-Skar then collapsed, it's job completed.

The Daedra, seeing their great weapon destroyed, began to retreat into the gates from whence they came. It seemed over, for now. An eerie silence enveloped what had once been the proud city of Ald-Ruhn, seat of the Redoran power on Vvardenfell. People mourned in the ruins, searching for the dead. I climbed up into a tower, and peered through the haze at the aftermath. Ald-Skar lay there, collapsed on the ground. The seige crawler lay broken, collapsed on the dusty ash. It seemed to resemble a broken symbol of House Redoran, it's insect legs sprawled out on the ground, it's mandables lie broken, crushed inside the crab's claw. Others came to look, and they saw it too, a bad omen one priest said.

However, after writing this account of the events, it would seem like a brighter future for a stronger, better Ald-Ruhn as the reconstruction begins."



I should be a novelist , but not really

How is it?

[SACarrow]

Verily, I liketh muchly.

In particular it brings out the uniqueness if Ald-Ruhn's Big Ol' Crab and explains why Ald-Ruhn was not totally Kvatched...

Later,
Steve

[Hector the Hooded]

I like that, Emperor, I didn't focus to much on the combat aspect, and that would be a good idea (to focus on that part of cobmat, and instead of a monster a siege engine)