Vvar- The True Origins of Dunmeri Swears

[KuKulzA]

updated with n'chow...
I think its a bit sick, but its the only thing I could think of...
N' -ch- OW you know... like beginning to say n'wah but being cut off and clenching teeth (ch) and then OW

hmm...
should I make up swears? or is four good?

[raggidman]

For the 'stoopid' bit you are in danger of losing your professorship

But as for more - I suggest that you consider some kind of swearing that includes one of these:

- Dagoth Ur/dagoths generally as they are dead, and so with Morrowind 'safe' from them they might become included in swear-terms ...

- Blight = we Brits have a WW2 term 'blighter'

- The dead members of the Tribunal - individually or together - this should reflect people's attitude to what happened with the Nerevarine etc...


Given the above swearwords are often reaction to long past events ...

[Haplo]

Originally posted by KuKulzA
I don't have much time so I'll start with Fetcher then I'll go to N'wah and N'chow, etc. when I get back
and I'll probably make up a few new ones... I'll probably base them off of Taiwanese swears
remember, this Briras Sareloth is a joker, and writes for the enjoyment of commoners, he is no scholar

---

[/hr]

The True Origins of Dunmeri Swears
by
Briras Sareloth

Fetcher
How did fetcher come about? Well ask the Dres...
Long ago, a Dres noble named Azumatal, yes they have very traditional names, had a very promiscuous daughter. She also happened to have a sexual preference for Argonians, but that is besides the point. Anyhow, this Azumatal was very liberal with his slaves, and even had a few promoted to sentries. Now he heard that his daughter had been making love to one of the Argonian sentries and sent one of his slaves to go get her. He was such a kind fellow and didn't want to punish anyone... so the shameful habit went on. Every time he found out she was enjoying herself with his slaves he'd tell his courier-slave to "fetch her!" Well eventually he needed to "fetch her" so many times that he began calling all his slaves "fetcher", and the name stuck. To this day, 'fetcher' is a softer way of saying 'slave' or 'scum'.

N'Chow
Though N'chow and N'wah seem very similar, their origins cannot be further apart... Once, long ago, a young noblewoman was traveling to Thorn. Though once owned by Great House Dres, it had been lost in the Arnesian War, not that I need to remind you of that. The lady was traveling to visit relatives there but her retinue was ambushed and captured by a band of Argonians. Sensing that she was an educated individual, these savage lizard-men asked her what N'wah meant. She said that it was a very insulting word that meant slave. That night, an Argonian grabbed her and kept repeating that she was his N'wah. He took off his trousers and was ready to defile the lady's mouth, but the lady, remembering several verses in the Sermons that mentioned "spears" and "biters" and "bled", bit hard. The foolish Argonian cried aloud "N' -ch..OW!!!"
Argonians claim that there is a long standing hatred between Dunmer and Argonian because of slavery. However, in truth, it must be that the Argonians are ashamed to have been bested in such a disgraceful manner by a woman, and also unintentionally adding another oath to the list of profane-words of the Dunmeri.

N'wah
How did N'wah come about? Well ask the Chimer and Dwemer...
Long ago in the time of Resdayn when Dwemer and Chimer united to fight off the Nords... a Dwemer-sentry asked a fellow patrol companion, "did you hear the news? the Nords have attacked from the north!" It was early morning and the groggy Chimeri companion-sentry grumbled, "wah?" Slightly taken aback by the Chimer's obvious lack of interest in the wider world and more interest in getting back to his sleeping mat, the Dwemer sighed and repeated, "the Nords!" The tired and distracted Chimer heard N-something and asked, "N ...wah?" Extremely exasperated, the Dwemer sentry cried, "N-O-R-D-S!!! Those hairy naked white skinned Atmorans! Big Axes! Loud voices! Honey-beers!?" Suddenly remembering the last battle he was in, the Chimer nodded in remembrance... and then realizing he still didn't know the name he turned to the Dwemer and asked, "N... wah?" The Dwemer just sighed and shook his head and resigned to the fact that the Chimer he had to patrol with cared only for food and bed.
Years later, Battle at Red Mountain... the Chimer is a House Redoran regiment officer
"Line up! ...do as I say! Spear men in front, swordsmen in back, archers behind them..... Today, we shall destroy our blasphemous cousins!"
The Armies of Nerevar began their war cries and oaths to their Clans... and so the Chimeri officer joined in... "die you... N... ...wah?"
His regiment, hearing their officer utter his defiant warcry all joined in: "die you N'wah!!!"
And so the name stuck and eventually was applied to all foreigners and folk who did not share the culture of the Chimer, and later the Dunmer.

Stoopid
How did stoopid come about? Well ask the Ashlanders...
Long ago, when Orcs lived in the northern ash-hills, there was an Orc called Dugrot gro-Mashnar. He considered himself very intelligent, and at a trading meeting between a tribe of Ashlanders and the Orcs, he decided to show off his brains. So while the Ashkhan and the Orc-chief discussed the trading of armors for several guar, the Dugrot went up to one of the Ashlanders and said, "Heya you sa wery stoopid ya!" And the surprised Dunmer looked up, shocked at this Orc's "intelligence" and said, "Orc, why am I stoopid? What does it mean!" The Orc, taken aback replied, "You doesn't knows? Stoopid means bad-head!" And everyone, even the Orcs laughed at this. And from that day on, the Dunmer learned the word stoopid. Though Imperials try to teach us that it is stupid, and not stoopid, I guess we have been too stoopid to correct our pronunciation.

Fixed spelling errors in the quote...

I'm pretty sure when they say 'stoopid' they're just saying... stupid.

EDIT - And in 4 years of playing Morrowind, I've never heard of N'chow... and what happened to S'wit?!

[KuKulzA]

S'wit! I forgot it!

and thanks Haplo! :goodjob:

[Deeza]

Done with only a couple of minor alterations. Changed one word to make the n'chow story slightly less explicit (the implication is still obvious though, none of the rest is altered). I never knew Argonians had anything down there...